outlawpoet was daily

2011-09-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

CRASH Space has been operating with the soul of a non-profit. We’ve kept costs as low as possible for classes that don’t get taught much of anywhere else, or, when they are, cost an arm and a leg. We run a skin of our teeth budget for the space. I’d say 90% of what’s in there is donated or on loan from people who are excited about sharing their passion and expertise with the world. Everything we do is brought about by the hard work of volunteers. However, it won’t be official until we complete the process to obtain 501(c)3 status.

Help us become an official non-profit

2011-07-15T12:25:00.001-07:00

My sister, Jessica Nicole Corwin, is dead. She was 27 years old, and I will miss her for the rest of my life, howsoever long.

2011-02-24T22:20:00.001-08:00

Recently I've been concerned that I've been putting time into projects in ratios counter to my priorities. So I took my off hours time and some calculations, and wrote out my top few projects in hours per week.

CRASHspace/RadioMondays 8hours
LiveActionLife 4hours
Aesir Academia 4hours
toydecider 1hours
holonic simulation 1hours
rationalizer 1hours
aaattention 1hours

I'm hoping to get or make a good timeclock to make sure I keep track, and adjust my hours in ratio for weeks with more or less off-time. We'll see how this goes!

2010-12-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve.

So, it is the fashion to reflect and project today. My 2010 was pretty great, I thought. It's been a good year at a2i2/SmartAction, we're making money and deploying customers. If I haven't been able to do as much AI research as I'd like, it's balanced by the knowledge that my work now contributes to the long-term stability of the company.

Work remains my #1 priority. With the bulk of my energy and intelligence going into it, I haven't had the energy and time to work on outside projects. I have been happy to note that the Lifeboat Foundation, SIAI, SENS, Seasteading Institute, St. Judes, and other organizations working in areas I'm interested in have also had a good year. I'll have to try to get involved there more in the coming year.

My one major outside project this year was Crashspace. We really have done well in this, our first full year of operation. We've made a name for ourselves, and put together a lot of cool stuff. I'm proud of what we've accomplished. Most of what I've done is just show up when I can, and teach classes in areas I'm already familiar with, but it's been a lot of fun. My goal in this is to help build up a community with diverse technical and problem-solving skills, and also to have access to high-tech tools outside the normal marketplace of consumer geegaws. I think it could be important, going forward. You have a lot more flexibility if you can build your own solution. And Crashspace, with our classes and talented membership (and laser cutters and CNC-machines and soldering tools) is starting to give us that. Teaching Radio Mondays has improved my lecturing, moderating skills, and quick research capability. Plus I've built a nice little group of new skilled friends. This next year should be pretty awesome.

In Art, 2010 has been a fallow year. Other than the fun of working with my hands again at crashspace, I haven't been doing much. I failed NaNoWriMo, and haven't been drawing much. I have one project in 2011, but it's dwarfed by the continuing technical work I need to do. Most of my creative work continues to be underground and unpublishable. More notes and plots and plans.

Another watershed moment in romantic history, I broke with Crystal this fall, for a variety of reasons. It's sad, but we're still talking. It was as amicable as these things can be. I've been dating her, on and off, for a good few years now. It is strange to think of continuing without her.

Looking forward, 2011 should be a good year at work, make or break. I have two significant outside projects just starting up, one Art with collaborators to be determined, one Business with my brother Aaron. I have good feelings about both.

I don't have conventional resolutions, so I'll just reprint my list of things I wanted to do before I am 30, with updates. Should still be doable, I think. It just takes my putting all my notes and collected drabbles and code into functioning prototypes so I can mark these things done and move on to bigger and better.

Things to do before I'm thirty

Be financially secure
complete:

Attention (time-management, desktop interface software, ver 0.1 existed)
Grayswandir (wearable computing interface/hardware design)
Jack of Shadows (communications interface)
DocDesignr (XML document design meta-tool, ver 0.0.1 existed)
Rationalizer (bayesian statistics visualization tool)
toy_decider (utility hypothesis bot)
Dr.Know (tutor/research bot)
Attitude Adjuster (modular airship design)
Home One (factory ship design)

be romantically secure
have some idea what the state of the possible art in AI is.
be incorporated
be physically stable
have published my papers on decision theory as high dimensional vector analysis
have participated in every nanowrimo
have had at least one satisfying computer or computer-mediated rpg experience
have experimented with consulting

2009-03-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ada Lovelace Day

2009-01-13T14:53:00.000-08:00

http://www.smartaction.com/

my company's new subsidiary, selling our technology.

2008-09-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

for talk like a pirate day:

"In th' mirrors o' many judgments me hands be th' color o' blood. I be a part o' th' evil that exists in th' world an' in Shadow. I sometime fancy me-self an evil which exists t' oppose other evils. I destroy Melkins when I find them, an' on that Great Tide o' which prophets speak but in which they do nay truly b'lieve, on that tide when th' world be completely swabbed o' evil, then I, too, will go down into tha dark, swallowin' wannions. Perhaps e'en sooner than that, I na ken. But whatere... Until that time, I shall nay wash me hands nor let them hang useless."

--Corwin "Th' Cannons o' Avalon" by Roger Zelazny

2008-07-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

Today I turn 27!

I'm happy and alive and working, and making progress. So now it's time for my favorite game, comparing myself to historical figures!

People who accomplished cool things but died at/before 27:
Évariste Galois(20)
Emilio Jacinto(23)
Selena(23)
Keats(25)
Manfred von Richthofen "The Red Baron" "Ace of Aces"(25)
Jimi Hendrix(27)
Jim Morrison(27)

People who I admire who had not yet done anything by 27:
Che Guevara (didn't meet Fidel until he was 27-28)
Norman Borlaug(went to Mexico to research crops at 29)
Alexander Fleming(discovered Penicillin at 47)
Buckminster Fuller(began his "experiment" at 32 after losing his daughter)
Francis Bacon (wrote no major works until he was 36, political success even later)

Ok, narcissistic comparison ended. Yay for birthdays.

2008-06-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

another pointer, I really have been tumbling a lot, and haven't kept this one up.
Justin Corwin's "outlawpoet -aggregator-"

2008-04-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

every body needs to see this:

as I said on my tumblr:

"”Thirty Two Short Films about Glenn Gould” is the first movie that I can remember making me cry. I cried like a fucking baby at the end of it, when he’s walking away, and he just disappears in the distance. They didn’t say anything, but I knew he was dead."

2008-04-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have been remiss in writing in general. I have a script for a comic, that if I finish I'll retroactively pretend was for Script Frenzy.

I HAVE been link blogging over on tumblr. It's very simple, and easy to share.

2008-03-04T15:14:00.000-08:00

Gary Gygax died today. He and his intellectual children had an enormous, incalculable effect on my life, and lives of many others. I am saddened.

2007-12-20T16:08:00.000-08:00

AFP: Descendants of Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse break away from US

I just got this from, about six sources in my newsfeed, they all seem to think it's either meaningless, fascinating, revolutionary, or bait for the USGov to come down hard on these latter-day AIM folks.

I can't really decide what I think will happen, but good on them for daring.

2007-11-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

Eeextremely Eeenticing: a review of the Asus Eee PC: Page 1

My next laptop, hopefully. Maybe after christmas.

I know some of you need a cheap new computer because the old one is getting long in the tooth. This looks like it does all the basic stuff you need computers for, and is actually quite capable in the multimedia and writing/programming department, which I'm interested in.

It's running IceWM default with a custom desktop, although full KDE is available as well. (for power users)

Interestingly, it also comes with a bunch of very good free educational software. You know, for the kids.

$399, with no deals or crapware.

2007-09-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Utah for a weekend visit.

2007-09-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Overcoming Bias: 9/26 is Petrov Day

Today is Petrov Day!

Today in 1983 Stanislav Yevgrafovich Petrov saved the world.

The link for more details, but suffice to say that on his personal authority, he countermanded the automatic response to ICBM launches from the US. It was a sensor error, but he had no way of knowing that. He decided not to respond, and because of that, we didn't have a nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union.

2007-09-25T11:35:00.001-07:00

after
Originally uploaded by boo d

the internet is a scary place. sometimes you see something you wish you hadn't.

but once you've seen it. you can't unsee it.

2007-09-24T18:01:00.000-07:00

Anne Corwin

I have a relative, who is an engineer! Who is also a transhumanist apparently.

Her focus is life extension, which is cool. I wonder how/if she's related to me.

2007-09-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry is one of my favorite entertainers. Smart, and funny, he represents a huge swath of intelligent civilized people who too often are overshadowed by their boorish and less talented cousins.

His show, QI, is my favorite scored gameshow, now that Win Ben Stein's Money is off the air.

And he's opened up a blog, where he opens, aggressively establishing internet cred, with an exhaustive dissection of the various attempts at mobile computing via smartphones. Very interesting stuff, and in inimitable Fry style. His feed goes on the dashboard.

2007-09-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Solar plane flies into the night

solar power plane, very cool.

My old friend peeyush asked me an interesting question a while ago, to get together a list of things to do before I'm 30. I thought about it off and on, but I forgot about it. he reminded me today, and here's what I have so far:

Things to do before I'm thirty
Be financially secure
complete:
Attention (time-management, desktop interface software, ver 0.1 existed)
Grayswandir (wearable computing interface/hardware, half designed, specs on request)
Jack of Shadows (communications interface, specs on request)
DocDesignr (XML document design meta-tool, ver 0.0.1 existed, specs on request)
Rationalizer (bayesian statistics visualization tool)
toy_decider (utility hypothesis bot)
Dr.Know (tutor/research bot)
Attitude Adjuster (modular airship design)
Home One (factory ship design)
be romantically secure
have some idea what the state of the possible art in AI is.
be incorporated
be physically stable
have published my papers on decision theory as high dimensional vector analysis
have completed every nanowrimo in between then and now
have had at least one satisfying computer or computer-mediated rpg experience
have experimented with consulting

2007-08-15T11:53:00.000-07:00

Soon I Will Be Invincible

This is fantastic. I read Soon I Will be Invincible two days ago, and yesterday I went home and read it again.

It's a whole continuity of superheroes and super villains, old heroes and old villains.

the main character, Doctor Impossible, is a lot like Hannibal, in that I'm sure most people will love to hate him. I personally sympathize with him a great deal. I'd take a job with him.

2007-08-12T14:37:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com: Reviews for Crooked Little Vein: A Novel: Books: Warren Ellis

Crooked Little Vein is fan-freaking tastic, of this I had no doubt. It even overshadowed my other delivery this week, "Spook Country" by William Gibson, because it's got punching power above it's weight class.

Disgusting, funny, surprisingly heartwarming. I see a lot of reviews deriding Ellis for making things up to try to shock. I have bad news for these people. With the exception of the Roanake family, everything in this novel has a real-life counterpart I can think of. Yes, even the porn farm, and the MHP. Life is weird, people are weird, long live the internet.

Buy this book. It's handily pocket sized, and twice as much fun as books three times as big.

2007-08-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Video A gentlemen's duel - short, film - Dailymotion Share Your Videos

fantastic CGI duel between a frenchman and an englishmen, featuring gigantic, steampowered automatons

2007-07-30T17:41:00.000-07:00

26 (number) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Happy Birthday to me.

audio_exp

2007-07-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

audio_exp

wow, somehow I never heard of Dr. Phineas Steel. steam-punk super villain music, perfect.

SPACE.com -- Northrop Grumman Buys Builder of SpaceShipOne

2007-07-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

SPACE.com -- Northrop Grumman Buys Builder of SpaceShipOne

I don't know whether this is great news or horrible news. For those who don't know, I'm a big supporter of space expansion, if only because it's cool.

Scaled Composites is a very cool company, that has been involved in many aviation firsts, and recently expanded to private aerospace with great result.

They've always had investments by larger aerospace companies, but apparently in the last few years, Northrup Grumman has been increasing their stake, leading to this news that it will now be a wholly owned subsidiary.

I don't really know what will happen here, but given Northrup Grumman's defense contractor status, and their involvement in the government space program, I fear that this may be the end of the development I saw there.

I went to the first SpaceShipOne launch into space, and I felt that it was an important milestone. People going into space *because we want to*, not to fight another country, or spur weapons development, that's important.

Here's hoping Scaled Composites doesn't get lost in NASA hell. Because the last thing we need is another thousand engineers working on another space shuttle.

Dresden Codak - Not Eaten by a Dinosaur

2007-07-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

Dresden Codak - Not Eaten by a Dinosaur

"Victor Hugo once got so mad he threw a baseball through a dog."

This protagonist is lovely and interesting. unfortunately the comic updates very slowly.

I'm back from utah, my father is safely remarried and onto his honeymoon, Crystal is well and busy, and things continue apace at the company. There is something of a backlog as I get back to work, but things are peachy otherwise.

Wii Fit - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2007-07-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

Wii Fit - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This, THIS, is what will finally break down my poor crystal's continuing resistance to the culture of gaming.

Crystal hates video games with a passion, and it's always been my intention to slowly wean her into some measure of acceptance, because I rather like them, both personally, and in the abstract.

As many know, she's passionate about health, and yoga in particular, working part time as an instructor while she goes to school. There have been many 'exercise as game' attempts, the most sophisticated on the ps2 (which kept a log of your exercise, and adjusted your schedule and workouts to feedback), but the Wii was the first console with 'activity' as an all around focus to the console.

It was just announced that Wii Fit will include a peripheral to measure weight, balance, and foot positions, allowing the game to track many things about your exercise. I'm sure that there will also be a lot of use of the Wiimote as well.

but best of all, the instructional portion is said to include YOGA POSES, which I know crystal will not be able to resist. She loves doing yoga videos, and this one will be interactive and intelligent.

There is no escape.

15010 steps

Eragon

2007-07-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

Eragon

I wanted to see the special effects in Eragon, because I'm a dragon whore. But I didn't really want to sit through... well, any part of the movie, really, except for Jeremy Irons, whose presence in this movie can only be explained by whimsy.

So, I bought a rifftrack, which nicely drowned out much of the idiocy, and made the movie about 400% more entertaining.

Nothing Nice to Say - the world's FIRST online punk comic

2007-07-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

Nothing Nice to Say - the world's FIRST online punk comic

This is hilarious.

6342 steps

Rifts� Machinations of Doom Gold Hardcover: Palladium Books Online

2007-07-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

Rifts� Machinations of Doom Gold Hardcover: Palladium Books Online

I am such a child of the 90s. I think gold covers are really cool looking.

6890 steps.

Gmail - SENTContext.csv is in Work In Progress

2007-06-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

Gmail

Gotta love gmail.

7712 steps since last reset

Astrochicken - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2007-06-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

Astrochicken - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

a proof positive of the power of names. A long with the Dyson Sphere, Dr. Dyson also invented the concept of a self replicating machine that would gather and control resources in space. an extremely significant insight, but probably will never be sufficiently attributed to him because of the silly name.

8970 steps.

warrenellis.com

2007-06-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

warrenellis.com

Warren has been watching his novel rise on Amazon's best seller list since pre-order opened with apparent dismay. I've got mine in there, I just wonder what he'll do when he's respectable.

The book sounds fantastic, by the way.

Giant In the Playground Games

2007-06-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/erf0001.html

What a fantastic comic this is.

4800 steps.

tired.

1.3 Elements of Reinforcement Learning

2007-06-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

1.3 Elements of Reinforcement Learning

An interesting book, I came across it on a a mailing list.

4267 steps.

Pierre-Simon Laplace - Wikiquote

2007-06-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

Pierre-Simon Laplace - Wikiquote

Laplace was such a badass. A meeting with Laplace, Napoleon, and Lagrange all in the same place must have been intimidating.

4518 steps.

outlawpoet's Friends

2007-06-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

outlawpoet's Friends

8495 steps today.

I've been trying to catch up on my internet feeds.

Fear the Boot

2007-06-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

Fear the Boot

I don't really get to play rpgs anymore, but I like hearing and reading about them occasionally.

5808 steps today. I think I'm still hitting reset at some point, but I forget to look at the pedometer to see how I'm doing throughout the day.

warrenellis.com

2007-06-18T12:17:00.000-07:00

warrenellis.com

3200 steps. so it goes

Demonoid.com - Torrent list

2007-06-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

3333 steps. probably lost some yesterday, as it was a bit blurry near the end. I'm not really much of a partier, but after the wedding of Zac and Jen yesterday, I ended up hanging out with some old friends.

In other news, Tavish is not perhaps the correct person to moderate alcohol usage. for me. I had a lot of fun, at the wedding and afterwards, up to my recollection of events. Only regret is that Crystal went off to the club first on her own, and we didn't meet up with her (tavish took us to the wrong club). I'm sure she wasn't happy. I left this morning and didn't get to speak with her very much.

Unfortunate. But luckily I'll be back for another wedding soon.

2007-06-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

got a pedometer, as part of a thing with crystal. 6322 steps today, 2000 some yesterday(lost due to reset). We'll see how we do, reporting in intervals of 24hrs

Script Frenzy | Your ticket to creative adventure

2007-05-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

Script Frenzy | Your ticket to creative adventure

MC Frontalot :: MP3 Downloads

2007-04-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

MC Frontalot :: MP3 Downloads

Nerdcore's godfather of rhymes has a new cd.

ironic that I purchase a cd from someone giving away a lot of music for free, isn't it, RIAA.

first track of the new cd "Secrets from the Future"
Secrets from the Future #1

He's right, you know, you wont' be able to.

psp7761121.pdf (application/pdf Object)

2007-04-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

Unskilled and Unaware of it: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments

My favorite paper.

I first read this when I was still in high school. I just found it again in an IRC chatroom. Ah, cynicism. As many have said, I was born old.

YouTube - Zebro on Boston's Aqua Teen Bomb Scare

2007-02-05T12:24:00.000-08:00

YouTube - Zebro on Boston's Aqua Teen Bomb Scare

It's official. Public Servants are retarded.

Apparently over the weekend, Boston's Mayor's office, with support from the PD, shut down large parts of the city, because there were little LED light devices, depicting cartoon characters on some buildings.

Obviously there were a huge threat. So huge that the mayor's office REFUSED TO BELIEVE TURNER BROADCASTING WHEN THEY WERE INFORMED IT WAS A SERIES OF ADS.

outlawpoet's Friends

2007-01-28T14:16:00.000-08:00

Funny, both Warren Ellis and Cory Doctorow have had problems with their characterizations, I on the other hand, am happy with mine:

I am:

Frank Herbert

His style is often stilted, but he created what some consider the greatest SF novel of all time.

Which science fiction writer are you?

warrenellis.com

2007-01-25T05:10:00.000-08:00

warrenellis.com

Warren's new website is kinda ugly if your screen is too big.

Well, I'm off. I'll be in Salt Lake until Sunday. Hold all my calls until then, internet.

When I get back, hopefully I'll have a long stretch of uneventful, and I can get back to some of my side projects which I've been meaning to put up for people to look at.

In the meantime, in the words of Jenny Sparks, "Until I get back, you fucking well BEHAVE."

2007-01-19T03:44:00.000-08:00

Grand Illusions Ltd Pens and Pencils

I kind of want one of these metal pens.

Ugh. So, I'm here, obviously very late at night, because I have to leave too early in the morning to trust myself to go to bed. I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to get some work done before I leave.

I'm going to Michigan, for a funeral, which is unpleasant, to say the least. I'll be there for the weekend, and back, then to SLC for next weekend. It's all part of a family extravaganza.

Other than this sudden and unhappy events, things are good. At work especially. I'm working on interesting things, and generally we're accomplishing a great deal. In a most exciting development, we're finally getting into having permanent instances of our system. You see, usually we start up the AI software, run it through training, and then test it, for anywhere from ten seconds(while debugging) to 4-6 hours(for liveweb tests). This means that no instance of the AI is ever around for very long. But now we have instances that we're running for days and days. Even better, we're starting to use it to do practical things for ourselves ( my favorite one is TIGO, the AI that watches another AI being tested, and complains to us if it sees the testee making mistakes).

It's all very interesting, I wish I didn't have to go this weekend. Other than, you know, the obvious reasons to wish it weren't so.

Strangely, I have some money left over from christmas, even after buying a plane ticket. Maybe I'll get one of those pens. Or start squirreling away for an iPhone. Who knows.

2007-01-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

Buy Sealand

An interesting Idea.

I keep track of silly idealistic things like this, because occasionally one of them actually occurs and astounds people.

If a copyfight group owned Sealand, it could cause some very interesting things to happen. It might be dangerous, and is certainly baiting governments and corporations, any of which have rather more guns than any copyfight group.

I find myself split between the cynical hope that this happens and provokes an overreaction, showing the flaws in the system, and hoping that it all works out in a Cryptonomicon kind of data haven-ish way.

2007-01-04T12:26:00.000-08:00

What Does 200 Calories Look Like?

interesting page.

I like the idea of portion control a lot more than I like proscriptive dieting.

2006-12-24T14:46:00.000-08:00

Amazon.com: Build Your Own Laser, Phaser, Ion Ray Gun and Other Working Space Age Projects: Books: Robert E. Iannini,Robert Iannini

I almost killed myself when I was a teen with this book. My finding it at the local library is the source of my undying admiration for Andrew Carnegie, who used his vast wealth to setup 2,500 libraries, and arguably is responsible for the existence of the modern library in america in it's present form.

Many of the things we take for granted in libraries, like the shelves of books being open to walk down and select by yourself (rather than asking a librarian to find something for you) and the ease of registering (rather than membership being restricted to some specific persons(students, guild members)), originated with the Carnegie plan libraries, and through sheer mass and expectation, many other library patrons and systems that may have been disinclined otherwise, followed suit and opened their stacks and their membership.

Carnegie opened libraries in every state except for Alaska, Delaware, and Rhode Island.

He also aspired to literary ambitions, both during and after his business careers. The only book he wrote that achieved any lasting fame was his "The Gospel of Wealth", in which he wrote about the great responsibility that being rich gave, as he was philosophically opposed to either 'lazy spending' giving millions in blanket or inefficient structures or for luxury goods. He wrote about the dangers of inherited wealth, and the possibility of a new generation of autocrats who ruled through great wealth that they did not earn.

A very interesting set of ideas, I thought.

2006-12-19T15:05:00.000-08:00

xkcd - A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language - By Randall Munroe

I have always loved Jeremy Irons. His voice is fantastic. In fact, for a while I fooled myself into thinking I wanted to see Eragon, just because the first trailer I saw was narrated by him. But really it looks like a terrible movie.

as Jeph Jacques said: "Wasn't Jeremy Irons also in the Dungeons & Dragons movie? What's the deal, Jeremy Irons?
He won his Oscar, now he's just fuckin' around. It's like winning the World Series and then joining the Cubs!
OH BURN ON YOU, CUBS FANS"

2006-12-17T12:26:00.000-08:00

The Witch House Salem, Massachusetts

One of my famous ancestors, Judge Johnathan Corwin, owned this house for forty years. It's the only standing structure that was involved in the infamous Salem Witch Trials, which sent 19 to the gallows.

It's kind of too bad it's called "The Witch House", It was Judge Corwin's private home, not a haunted mansion or something. I suppose he didn't do enough else to be famous on his own.

2006-12-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

Maya calendar - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

I have occasionally facetiously suggested Dec 21, 2012 as the date of the singularity, for artistic and mythological reasons. Here's an interesting snippet from Wikipedia, explaining that the Long Count calendar actually is much much longer than previously suspected, via evidence from Palenque (an important mayan archeological site).

"The end of the 13th b'ak'tun is conjectured to have been of great significance to the Maya, but does not necessarily mark the end of the world according to their beliefs, but a new beginning or time of re-birth. According to the Popol Vuh, a book compiling details of creation accounts known to the Quiche' Maya of the colonial-era highlands, we are living in the fifth world. The Popol Vuh describes the first four creations that the gods failed in making and the creation of the successful fifth world where men were placed. The Maya believed that the fifth world would end in catastrophe and the sixth and final world would be created that would signal the end of mankind.

The last creation ended on a long count of 13.0.0.0.0. Another 13.0.0.0.0 will occur on December 21, 2012, and it has been discussed in many New Age articles and books that this will be the end of this creation, the next pole shift or something else entirely. However, the Maya abbreviated their long counts to just the last five vigesimal places. There were an infinite number of larger units that were usually not shown. When the larger units were shown (notably on a monument from Coba), the end of the last creation is expressed as 13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.13.0.0.0.0, where the units are obviously supposed to be 13s twenty places larger than that b'ak'tun. In this age we are only approaching 0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.13.0.0.0.0, and the larger places would all need to similarly roll over to 13 again to match the date of the new creation.[6]

This is confirmed by a date from Palenque, which projects forward in time to 1.0.0.0.0.0, which will occur on October 13, 4772 (a Friday). The Classic Period Maya likely did not believe that the end of this age would occur in 2012. According to the Maya, there will be a baktun ending in 2012, a significant event being the end of a 13th 400 year period, but not the end of the world."

2006-12-14T11:07:00.000-08:00

Micro Persuasion: Our Sixty Minutes with Bill Gates:

"Q) What would you be looking at today if you were an independent entrepreneur?
A) Something dramatic like artificial intelligence. Biology. Energy."

Yeah, me too.

2006-12-11T14:32:00.000-08:00

Some more artistic brilliance. Here someone has taken computer-built, sample driven composition one step further, by videoing himself recording all the sample notes for the intruments, and stitching the video together as the software synthesizer plays his composition, (I assume, it also might have been done by hand, horrifying as that prospect is). It's rather hypnotic, watching it.

Lasseg.

2006-12-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

girls on sofas - a photoset on Flickr

I think this is amazing. Visually stunning, varied, light-hearted. Really, a fantastic set of pictures.

'ware, female nudity. NSFW

centrifugal_force

2006-12-03T18:06:00.000-08:00

centrifugal_force-1
Originally uploaded by outlawpoet.

I always thought brainy supervillains should have been more exact in their dialogue.

someone who can build monstrous machines on their own would not use inexact metaphors.

2006-12-01T18:09:00.000-08:00

Lulu.com - Self Publishing - Free

Okay, so my dedication to lay aside my novel did not last very long.

Lulu.com, the Print-On-Demand publishers so many are fond of, are offering a free single copy of any NaNoWriMo novel!!!!

the offer is good until January 16, 2006, which just might be enough time to whip this puppy into shape so I can hold it in my hands.

2006-12-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

George Thorogood

Today is George Thorogood day, in honor of the self-indulgent, lazy, destructive, dark things we all have in our souls. (yes, I just made up a holiday).

Today, listen to George and his Destroyers, and think about going to a bar and slowly imploding, listen to his wonderful smoke and alcohol voice, maybe indulge in some mild sin.

Then tomorrow remember that you've got other things to do and return to a brighter universe.

The greeks loved tragedy and death in theatre, because they believed that indulging in such things one step removed from themselves cleansed their souls of some need for it. They left the tragedy in the theatre, and got on with their lives.

It may not work that way, but at least if we make this mistake we're in glorious ancient company.

2006-11-30T14:44:00.000-08:00

The Comics Curmudgeon: "He knows if you’ve been bad or good, ladies, and right now it looks like you’re pretty bad
November 30th, 2006

You know, suddenly this is the first Funky Winkerbean sequence I’ve unironically enjoyed since I rejoined the new gloomed up version of the strip. I love the musical notes floating in the air — is it stripper music? Is it Christmas music? Is it somehow, wonderfully, both? I love the way that Santa’s thick black belt, such an iconic part of his thoroughly asexual garb, has suddenly been transformed with a vague aura of S&M. But mostly, I love the way that everyone is leering at sexy Santa with naked lust — except for the mother-to-be, who looks on in unalloyed horror, as if only she can see how very, very wrong this is, and she’s thinking, “My God, has everyone else gone insane?”"

Some commentary from my favorite curmudgeon.

Whoa. Just Whoa. I don't read newspapers, not even their comics, but this is too awesome.

2006-11-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

National Novel Writing Month - National Novel Writing Month

On my vacation I spent some of my downtime (mostly my airline flights and some time in the middle of the night and such) on my PDA, stitching together the various source documents I've put together over the past month. Rather to my suprise the end result is a lot above the finish line. My wordcount right now is 72364,
well above the 50k required.

My novel is 13 chapters right now, with three appendixes and almost ten pages of endnotes. It's the longest work I have of my writing (the previous record being a nonfiction work that was lost, and then last year's NaNoWriMo, a novel called Prisoner N at about 51k).

On the unfortunate side, the story has a lot of problems, and is probably at least a few months of work from being really readable.

Also, Google Docs turned out to be inadequate to the task. I ran into multiple problems, including formatting, footnote/endnote functionality, multi file problems, and some accessibility problems. I have made numerous suggestions to the Google Docs team, and may be haunting the newsgroup for a while, as it was almost a very useful tool.

I think it was a good exercise to participate, and I'm going to continue working on this novel (unlike Prisoner N, which I never wanted to see again), and it's given me some ideas on my work process as well.

As a side-effect, I've gotten better with the Frogpad, as using the PDA pen-entry was too painful, and it synched up with my wireless keyboard (barely).

The Frogpad is vastly superior to pen entry, and comfortable on the road, but it's still slower and more unreliable than qwerty or dvorak wired keyboards(perhaps I'll get a USB version this christmas).

On the home front, I'm back in the thick of things at work, where we had some interesting visitors, and will be making a hiring decision soon. Heady stuff!

2006-11-22T13:41:00.000-08:00

The interview: Robert Pirsig | Review | The Observer

Pirsig is one of my favorite authors, and an important philosopher.

It's a sad interview, for several reasons. It's unlikely Pirsig will write another book, if he's not even going to grant another interview.

Looks like I fell off the horse, I haven't posted in weeks. I'm still in the running for NaNoWriMo, but my notes are scattered across PDA and Computer and paper, so I need to gather those and resubmit. Once it's back together, the final copy will be that link I gave earlier.

I'm going out of town for thanksgiving today, still interviewing and getting applications(craigslist is definitely my first stop for the next opening), and maybe even expanding our office space a lot. Exciting times, my friends.

I'll be back on Sunday. Be smart and safe. Black Friday is coming.

2006-11-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

craigslist: los angeles classifieds for jobs, apartments, personals, for sale, services, community, and events

Wow. I listed one of our positions at the company here, and was immediately flooded with applicants, many of which look good on first inspection.

Looks like a much better response than when we listed with Monster.com, for those of you who do any hiring in the cities craigslist covers.

2006-11-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

The Blog | Nora Ephron: My Weekend in Vegas | The Huffington Post

I must admit, I have no idea who Nora Ephron is, but she's my new favorite journalist, just for this piece, which is perfect.

2006-11-05T01:35:00.000-08:00

outlawpoet's Friends

livejournal was down for most of the day on saturday, which was annoying. I like to see what people are doing on the weekend, and their livejournals are often a convenient way to do so.

A good day at work, without the new guy here, I managed to get a new test mostly finished and into the system. Also, I managed to stir up a hornets nest of issues that will probably resolve into either irrelevancy or interesting new tasks by tomorrow.

I managed a respectable 2057 words today, although I started very late and am still behind. I finished the first chapter, and am finally getting into the plot.

The world is so weird that I'm afraid I'm still infodumping a lot(a term limyaell uses) but I try to do it from my character's perspective.

Also, my character, entirely against expectations, ran out and awkwardly started to seduce a confederate, Bond-style. I really did not have any such thing in the outline, but it really made too much sense to avoid. I'm trying to avoid descending into erotic fantasy, but the way things are going, I'm going to have to work out just what kind of mating rituals these magical freaks have.

2006-11-03T23:57:00.000-08:00

AMAZINGPW on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Holy crap, that is an awesome pumpkin.

I suppose I'm doing okay on the novel, I got more time on it today, and made back some of the deficit, but I'm still not doing it, in terms of rate. Also, the way I'm going, more than half of my wordcount is going to be footnotes, which is not cool. Maybe I need to exclude those from this document and the wordcounts somehow.

A good day otherwise, the new guy is doing pretty well. The new office setup is getting comfortable.

2006-11-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

YouTube - jugband

A slice of childhood for those of you within +-10 years of me.

2006-11-03T01:11:00.000-08:00

Flickr: Photos from outlawpoet

Moved my desk into new digs, and added a monitor (inspired by Troy again), pictures on my flickr link above.

I oriented a new employee today, and so I didn't get done with work and clear until late. I've only had time for some editing and outlining on the novel, that leaves me about a thousand words behind plus tomorrow's quota, not good. I've got plenty of material, but I need some time to work it all out onto the page. We'll see how quick I can do the first two chapters now that they're largely solid.

2006-11-02T12:34:00.000-08:00

Cambridge Consultants - Four cent inhaler offers real alternative for pandemic vaccination

This is extremely promising, and probably for more 'mainstream' medicine, rather than pandemic vaccination, which promises to be an irregular and politicized affair.

Cheap, safe, and requires little doctor supervision for use. Excellent.

2006-11-02T00:59:00.000-08:00

Dosage

This is my novel's URL, at least for the time being. Having enjoyed using writely in the past, I've decide to use it for NaNoWriMo.

In terms of scheduling, I've simply replaced my leisure time(video games, books, movies, amusing internet videos) with writing. In this way, I won't cut into my work(since I'm one of the few people in the world who actually enjoys and am interested in my job to the point where I'd be disappointed if I was getting less done in it).

In non novel news, I've installed Shadow Plan, at Troy's urging. We'll see if it's organization helps me at all in my work.

I also replaced my venerable Moleskine with a new one, slightly larger, sketchbook style. I quickly modded it with duct tape to hold a pen/pencil on the outside, and have started carrying it in my cargo pocket.

ok. To bed with me. Save, wordcount, sleep.

2006-11-01T01:47:00.000-08:00

National Novel Writing Month - Outlawpoet's Profile

My profile above now contains my novel, and the first preface, which I've just written. I've put a widget on my blogspot main page to show current wordcount, but livejournal seems to want me to pay to do any such thing, so I guess I'll just put the widget in my daily posts. Good luck to other participants.

2006-11-01T00:42:00.000-08:00

National Novel Writing Month - My Novel

Fortuitously, I am waiting for crystal to get home for the nightly phone call, and it's after 12, so it's November.

My novel this year is a high fantasy world introduction called "Dosage". It's introducing a fantasy world I've designed in part over the past few years(or at least one part of it).

The title refers to the profession of the primary character we follow, who is that world's equivalent of a pharmacologist(to be polite) or a poisoner.

I have two prefaces, 24 chapters and one appendix to write. My goal is to get at least a first draft of all of it by the end of the month, which will probably take me far above the 50k word finishline, but we'll see how I do. I'm spending my time until crystal gets home getting my word counter up, and my first preface written.

2006-10-31T13:53:00.000-08:00

BarCamp / BarcampLA-2

This looks really interesting. Thanks for Paul Grasshoff bringing this to my attention.

It's a conference where everyone gives a demo. All participants, no spectators. I am heavily in favor of events that require or stimulate total involvement, as it filters the drag that many bystanders can cause. I hate feeling like the only person in the room who wants to do something.

2006-10-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

After Life:

Some very interesting worldbuilding in this short sci fi story. Very seamless, if a little mystic. A+.

For non-transhumanists in my audience, this story assumes some scifi concepts, the central conceit is uploading.

Uploading is a sometimes murky concept, but the central thesis is that neuronal activity is computational in nature, we're built of neuronal activity (ie, we are our brains, mostly), so it ought to be possible to do all that computational work on something other than neurons(since all computers are equivalent. see The Church-Turing Thesis).

Once you have the instruction set for a human, and a computer capable of running it (we don't yet, brains are very very expensive), then you can have the virtual equivalent of a person. They will react and behave exactly like a real person (assuming you also simulate them a place to live, or hook them up to a robot body).

So in this story, we explore a future history of the effect of a successful human upload. I enjoyed it a great deal, and I'll probably post some spoiler discussion in a few days.

This is a high bar, I'm glad I'm writing fantasy for my NaNoWriMo and not Egan-esque scifi, because I don't know how I'd avoid pilfering from this, reading it one day before November.

2006-10-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

MAKE: Blog: Periodic table gets a makeover

There is another use of the Spiral Periodic Table presentation, which I mentioned earlier.

I am very supportive of this new format, which makes clearer many of the interrelationships in the periodic table which previously had to be kind of 'written on the side', such as chemical families, and the ugly 'bottom bar' insertion(which was just confusing).

I did like the previous 'spiral periodic table on a galaxy' graphic, but this one is probably more useful and stable. Interesting websites linked at the bottom of the article.

A step forward in science education. Now if we could just stop them from teaching bogus aerodynamic theory and the Bohr model of the atom.

2006-10-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

National Novel Writing Month

I did this last year, and was amused and interested by it. I think I will be participating again this time, with the aim of actually publishing or showing my completed story.

Writing 50000 words in a month is not hard in theory (I have averaged as high as five or six thousand words a night) but the persistence and camraderie involved are very foreign, if helpful to me.

Is anyone else considering this? Have you begun to plot?

2006-10-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

Jeff Cooper, 86, Developed Gun Techniques - October 2, 2006 - The New York Sun

Just caught this. Jeff Cooper was one of my personal heroes. He changed a lot about the role and practice of firearms (especially pistolcraft). He wrote a lot about the Second Amendment, and responsibility.

He stressed competence, and encouraged police officers and other armed personell to train and be as effective as possible to save lives.

He's probably also indirectly responsible for a lot in popular culture, the way action movies portray and use guns, the modern resurgence of training and skills being put above natural talent, and other strange and admirable things.

Like John Browning, Col. Cooper will probably have a long and distinguished influence on firearms and military culture after his death.

2006-10-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Only another 5,500 calories to go ...

Interesting article attempting to duplicate the 'turning your diet for the worse' anecdotal tale from "Super Size Me" which confirms my suspicion that Spurlock's reported experience was overinflated, special, or plain fabricated.

A Swedish study group find that converting from fair fitness and normal diets to extreme overeating and poor diet has a smaller effect, and is harder to keep up than you might suspect.

More evidence of differential response to diet and exercise.

2006-10-09T18:46:00.000-07:00

Rifters.com: Vampire Domestication

I have to hand it to Eliezer, he really can find the oddest things on the internet. Above links to perhaps the most grounded and interesting attempt to rekindle a fantasy monster of the highest order. Click it when you have fifteen minutes and some headphones/speakers.

In other news, I'm back on the scene here in LA. I had a nice time in Salt Lake City, saw my family and girlfriend, and other good things.

My reading backlog is getting extreme and I'll be powering through some of it to get back to a more stable situation.

And the random thought for today is: Gyroscopes. Seriously, how weird are they? Everybody has seen how they do crazy things, but they rarely introspect on how deeply odd the behavior of dynamic objects are compared to the intuitive stable at-rest things we are used to. Simple gyroscopes are easy once you play and see them a bit, but the larger issue (called spinning tops in some papers I have read) of rotating volumes is fiendish in the vectorization of forces.
solid objects with concealed rotating masses inside (called gyrostats) are worse yet, imagine pushing on a box and not knowing whether it would stay stationary, rotate, or simply slide.

I've tried to find good introductory material on the subject, but the best I've found is a very old book called Gyrodynamics by Arnold. In theory, rotating objects obey all the intuitive inertial behavior you would expect, but in practice predicting the behavior of one can be very counter-intuitive. Anybody work with them, or know a book?

2006-10-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

In Salt Lake City.

Somehow, every time I leave, I don't have enough time, or things fall apart, or I miss stuff.

I didn't get everything wrapped up before left. I spent most of my useful time at work this morning making sure Josh had enough info for the weekend, and didn't wrap up my stuff. Bad.

And I had such a good day yesterday, solving other people's problems lickety split. Ah well.

And the ball rolls down.

2006-10-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

sisyphus
Originally uploaded by outlawpoet.

So, yesterday I finished this great new test, called "Helper" which simulates this branching cyclic conversation structure. I've been adding and changing and otherwise working on this thing for weeks now, and I've finally got it reliably scoring in automated testing.

So then I turn my attention to this new section of behavior handed in from one of my coworkers, John, which I work on, and realize that it completely breaks the old helper behavior. like completely, can't even have the two in the same room together.

I guess my next task is to get the two to play nice, at which point something else will occur.....

2006-10-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

MetaViewSoft - PalmPDF

Finally! a program that lets me view giant PDFs on my palm TX. I had been languishing, because I have all these gorgeous high color scans of books(obtain through entirely legitimate means) and the most interesting ones (ie, >100MG) would crash it. I'd been making do with just reading text only files, or downconverting the pdf's with MobiPocket, but this is much better.

I think I'll load up my 1gig SD card and do some real reading this weekend.

2006-10-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

Bank of America | Home | Personal

Last night I left my bank card at the ATM. I probably failed to indicate that I was done, so the card did not eject, and I had time to walk away before it started beeping.

I went to the bank branch today, and it was waiting for me inside. Either their ATM machines eat cards that stay in them for a while and they are held inside, or someone else grabbed it and turned it in. They wouldn't say which.

I was pretty helpless there without a bank card. Interesting that I've adapted so well to using no cash. Crystal is always telling me I should carry money rather than using the card all the time. But it's too convenient. I took out a little money, but I'll probably forget again and lapse back into pure card use. I can't wait until I can get RFID fetish and just wave at things and lose money.

2006-10-03T18:42:00.000-07:00

justin corwin

coming after several years without, I again have a cellphone number. for those who need to contact me, it's 213.550.9925 anyone who doesn't need to, or I don't know can prepare for verbal abuse.

I try to live a life of transparency, and in general, have incurred few expenses for doing so. A little harrasssment, a few stalkers at jobs, and a few people banned from email/IMing or otherwise contacting me.

I find that the benefits exceed the negatives thus far.

If I ever become really famous, no doubt that overhead will rise to unbearable levels and I'll be forced into an unlisted(or at least abstracted) existence.

2006-10-03T16:53:00.000-07:00

For any interested, my polyphasic switchover failed last night. I missed my 9pm nap by an hour and a half, so I crashed, and I got a veto from crystal, who apparently wants me to stay in bed throughout a night with her. With a visit to Salt Lake this weekend, that puts the kibosh on any disruption in normal sleep habits for a while.

While a day and a half isn't a good indicator, I wasn't unduly tired while on the schedule, and am optimistic, if I get a chance to start up again.

For anyone who follows such things, back in 2002-2003 and now I used a five hour period with a 40 minute nap, it compromises slightly more downtime with rarer disruption.

2006-10-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

Test Test. Now posting to Livejournal automatically whenever I update my 'serious' blog at outlawpoet.blogspot.com "Outlawpoet Daily"

Which is anything but.

2006-10-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

AGI - What are the Risks? (panel debate) - Google Video

moderately interesting video.

2006-10-02T02:55:00.000-07:00

Netvibes

Netvibes is an adaptive homepage site, which I use to organize my news and email and other notifications.

I've just gone through and removed the 'frivolous' feeds from my home page, leaving the AI feeds and business notifications.

I've found that people, even smart people like myself are very lazy. We tend to do what we're already doing. We investigate what we're already interested in. We allow ourselves to slump, within the limits we've set for ourselves, or have been set for us.

This is not to say that higher standards are all that's needed to get more from yourself. There is an apocryphal tale about a farmer teaching his horse to do without food, he slowly reduces the intake of the horse, and it adapts as best it can, until he decides it's ready to go all the way and it promply dies.

There are limits, but part of growing up, and becoming the person you want to be is finding those limits. Even if they're just limits to comfort, that's important to know. You can't be unhappy all the time for very long before other parts of your life starts to suffer.

So, today I'm just going to start doing some things that I have considered doing before, but for various reasons have never gotten over the inertia of what I was currently doing.

For a while there in SLC I had a polyphasic sleep pattern. Lately my sleep habits have been sloppy and creeping over the 9 hours a day I like them to be. I'm going back to polyphasic sleep, and less time in bed. I started Sunday(technically yesterday).

I haven't been consistent with this blog. At the best of times I found it helpful to be honest and regular with it. It helped me to organize my thoughts and grounded me in the invisible audience.

I've tried to keep my time at work to 8 hours a day, every day. This works out to 240 hours a month, since I work a little more than that most weekdays, I use that average excess to calculate my time off. Lately, that hasn't been working out well for me, with weekends being the time when I recover from disrupted/irregular sleep, and weekdays having a little too much frustrated or unproductive time at work. Part of this is because I'm working on some rather difficult subjects largely on my own, but some is also due to bad habits at work I've found myself in that keep me from being as effective as I would like to be. I'm trying some new things there, and I hope I can get more done with less stress.

2006-09-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

Golf club Royal Bromont - Google Video

This is the most brilliantly put together thing I've ever seen by a DIY enthusiast. I would buy one immediately. I know people are going to be rushing to duplicate this, so I'll keep an eye on the scene and note when something accessible get's planned out.

For the time being it looks like he constructed all the technology himself.

2006-09-25T16:05:00.000-07:00

todbot blog » Blog Archive » Arduino, the Basic Stamp killer

good news for hardware hackers

2006-09-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

The Mprize-PayPal Founder pledges $3.5 Million to antiaging research

Peter Thiel is quickly making a name for himself as one of the largest contributors towards transhumanist efforts.

Last year he gave the Singularity Institute an enormous boost both in money and visibility, and here he both increases the MPrize war chest, and incentivises much further donation.

Looking over his history, since paypal, he has also invested well on the commercial side, being an angel in such explosive efforts as Facebook and co-producing one of my favorite movies of last year Thank You for Smoking

2006-09-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com: To Reign in Hell: Books: Steven Brust

"Snow, tenderly caught by eddying breezes, swirled and spun in to and out of bright, lustrous shapes that gleamed against the emerald-blazoned black drape of sky and sparkled there for a moment, hanging, before settling gently to the soft, green-tufted plain with all the sickly sweetness of an over-written sentence."

Wow. That's one heck of a first sentence. Just now investigating Brust, I started here, as it was endorsed with a foreword by Roger Zelazny.

I went to visit the Blancos today, and bade 'happy birthday' to several people. It was a nice few hours, although I came back quickly and am back working again.

I'm happy to say that things at work are very interesting and productive, and more discussion on the subject of AI is happening on the various internet fora I'm connected to.

2006-09-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

Royal Society Publishing

The Royal Society Journals Digital Archive is now online. A lot of scientific papers and celebrity scientists info available there. Read papers by Bohr, Joule, Kelvin, Liebnitz, Turing, Volta, Wren, Darwin, and on and on.

2006-09-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

Gresgarth Hall

Possible ancestors in the Curwen/Culwen family from Lancastershire. Another family of Corwins in the US are claiming the motto, descended from them, of "Si Je Nestoy" (if not for me, or if I was not there) after an incident where Sir Gilbert II of Culwen allegedly saved Edward I from capture or death.

I like it, as family mottoes go. I am still torn by Fowl's gold is power, and Groening's knowledge brings fear, as well as the anonymous quip beware the wrath of a patient man.

I rather like the idea of a testosteroney sort of family creed, but I guess I'll have to see. Crystal's vote is for this is a learning opportunity, which has menacing overtones if you think about it too long

2006-09-08T13:41:00.000-07:00

News: Iain Banks 'civilised' by Sid - ComputerAndVideoGames.com

Wow. Here is a story about Iain M. Banks admitting that his latest book is late because he became addicted to a computer game, the latest Civilization from Sid Meier.

I'm surprised more hasn't been made of this, as more and more computer games become 'open-ended' and increasingly time-consuming. We intelligent folk are particularly vulnerable to becoming enamored of controllable and engrossing worlds within worlds.

(I also wonder how good of a player Iain is, and if anyone I know played against him online. hmm)

2006-09-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

YouTube - Crocodile Hunter cries

Reliable reports are that Steve Irwin is dead. I've been watching The
Crocodile Hunter since I was young, and he's become an irrevocable part of our culture, with his wild enthusiasm and trekking to show us dangerous wildlife.

Steve has done a an enormous amount to show people the natural wonders of the world, and has raised huge amounts of money for zoos and conservation efforts.

Steve died as I thought he might, dealing with dangerous animals, in this case, a poisonous ray, which stung him in the chest. He was dead when he arrived at the hospital. He was filming a documentary called "World's Deadliest" in the Batt Reef off Port Douglas, Queensland.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20349888-2,00.html

2006-09-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

YouTube - Long Time Gone ~ Dixie Chicks

A song about a girl who has grown up, and found that outgrowing her childhood town has cost her a past, and lost relationships.

I was talking with my father about his feelings, now that our family has broken up, that I've grown, and Jessica is away. Andrea is off in South America, and Aaron is in treatment. I know he misses when we were all together and small, however stressful it was at the time.

So far, I've always been glad of the direction my life has gone in, and I don't yet feel that anything is less full of promise than it once was. There are a lot of things I miss, but I wouldn't trade what I have now for access to them. Yet. I worry that I won't have time to spend all the time with the people I care about while they're still here. Or before things change too much. A lot of the places I went to as a kid aren't there anymore. The things I used to do with my dad might not be possible.

I know the porch I watched (and helped as much as a child could) him build around our home in Orinda is gone. Which is too bad. I loved that thing, and would have liked to see it as an adult.

There are also a lot of people I may never be able to find again. Friends and neighbors and passing acquaintances. It's a stiff price, growing up.

Daddy sits on a’ front porch swinging
Looking out on a vacant field
Used to be filled with burley t'bacca
Now he knows it never will
My Brothers found work in Indiana
M' Sisters a nurse at the old folks home
Mama still cooking too much for supper
And me I’ve been a long time gone

[Chorus:]
Been a long time gone
No, I ain't hoed a row since I don't know when
Long time gone
And it ain't coming back again

Deliah plays that ol' church pian'a
Sitting out on her daddy’s farm
She always thought that we'd be together
Lord I never meant to do her harm
Said she could hear me singin' in the choir
Me, I heard another song
I caught wind and hit the road runnin'
And Lord, I've been a long time gone

[Chorus:]
Been a long time gone
Lord, I ain't had a prayer since I don't know when
Long time gone
And it ain't comin' back again

[Instrumental]

[Bridge]
Now me, I went to Nashville,
Tryin' to beat the big deal
Playin' down on Broadway
Gettin' there the hard way
Living from a tip jar
Sleeping in my car
Hocking my guitar
Yeah I’m gonna be a star

Now, me and Deliah singing every Sunday
Watching the children and the garden grow
We listen to the radio to hear what's cookin’
But the music ain't got no soul
Now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard
They've got money but they don't have Cash
They got Junior but they don't have Hank
I think, I think, I think

The rest is a long time gone
No, I ain't hit the roof since I don’t know when
Long time gone
And it ain't coming back
I said a long time gone
No, I ain't honked the horn since I don’t know when
Long time gone
And it ain't coming back again

2006-08-24T02:03:00.000-07:00

I'm back from Michigan. At a week and a day off the job, this is the longest I've been away in two and a half years.(it reinforces my preference for short, staggered time off)

My grandmother, Helen Finton Corwin(or perhaps Corwin Finton) is dying of cancer. At this point, there is little that can be done. Her prognosis is anything from weeks to months, as metastatic cancer advances erratically.

She's still in full possession of her faculties, and currently without pain. She's staying with her daughter, my Aunt K. She seems upbeat, and I was glad to spend time with her.

Things of this nature always make me angry. I expect that the forms of cancer will have effective therapies developed within my lifetime, and that the host of other problems that make her life so short as well. But it will not come in time for her. And knowing this, I can think of nothing to do but to preserve what memories and time I have with her as well as I can. It's a weak salve to someones death, to promise to remember them. I've never seen my grandmother cry before. She has always been an upright and certain person. The most solid figure in my family.

I know that she is scared and unhappy and I see her seeing things with the unspoken subtext "this is the last time you will see this", and what a terrible thing that is.

You would think that such a reality would sweep away pride and social norms, and that I could say all the things I wanted to her. But in that situation, you cling to it instead, and so I stayed largely silent, not wanting to upset the fragile upbeat thing that was my few days, likely the last days I will spend with her. I didn't want to embarass her. I didn't want to upset her. I didn't want to embarass myself.

This is a bad world.

I've known this for a long time, just as I've always accepted that our progress upon it is slow and certain and altogether to be aided and believed in. But it is still too slow. Too slow again for one more.

For me, the rate of change in the world has always been clocked by the problems the people I care about have. The power of medicine is the sicknesses my friends and family survive. The failure of the same is shown conversely. It's easier, when you're a teen, and the only people who have died are those you did not have time to know. That's when I decided that the world was fundamentally getting to be a better place over the centuries.

It still is, but it's slower than it should be. Perhaps it always was and I should have known, but the markers for me started later. I feel guilty about many things, but mostly it's my helplessness and complicity, however small, in the pain of those I care about. I don't know what would have been enough, but what I have done and tried was not it.

I'll miss her.

"In the mirrors of many judgments my hands are the color of blood. I am a part of the evil that exists in the world and in Shadow. I sometime fancy myself an evil which exists to oppose other evils. I destroy Melkins when I find them, and on that Great Day of which prophets speak but in which they do not truly believe, on that day when the world is completely cleansed of evil, then I, too, will go down into darkness, swallowing curses. Perhaps even sooner than that, I now judge. But whatever... Until that time, I shall not wash my hands nor let them hang useless."

--Corwin, "The Guns of Avalon" by Roger Zelazny