Friday, June 18, 2004

Well, another day, another day.

I have to admit, I was a little dissapointed with what I got done today. Now, unlike many days, I had very specific and achievable goals, which I did complete. But I felt as if I was muddling along, being distracted and unfocused, wasting cycles by having unclear strategy.

I've tried many things, to be more effective. I've tried task scheduling, I've tried various self-management techniques. I have tried over-organization, tried emotional ties, tried self-reward, aversive training, combinations of the above... etc etc.

I am effective. I do a lot in an average day, though to many outside it does not seem so. I know that I have trouble renormalizing my priorities with what many consider standard. Things that fail some personal criterion fall very low, sometimes to my detriment. I know I'll never be terribly good at managing money, for example, and I have some understanding of where the holes in my competence are, and for various reasons, am not planning to try to rectify it too strongly. Entangled factors. There is also the conservation of inertia. It's hard enough to change yourself, it's best to direct what will I have into areas that are more pressing, and more rewarding.

But, as things go, I have somewhat complicated ways of motivating, ordering, and planning for my various initiatives. They work, to a greater or lesser extent.

But today showed me more flaws in it. So I'm tearing many of them out, and starting afresh. I have a new system, which I'll need to drill into myself with various minders, and a new set of tricks. Hopefully, en total, I'll get more performance per mental unit of effort. We'll see.

I'll note details of my system as they get worked out more clearly. And also as they get deprecated or raised based on experience.

But the experiment, I think, will be at least interesting, and I hypothesize, effective.

A raised glass to all you self-analyzers and mind-hackers out there. May you be more of who you are.

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