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I got up around 5:30 and ran for thirty minutes today. It was enlightening. I managed it, just barely, which is good. It's been a while since I've run continuously for that long. I should remember to do so more often. For the health and capability benefits, sure, but afterwards, I'm always left with the confirmation that my concept of 'hard' when applied to thinking, is grossly miscalibrated. I always find it easier to approach difficult mental problems after completing some physical task(that is difficult, that is, sallying forth to the kitchen in quest for some chocolate wafers doesn't quite work)

Yesterday I was vaguely intimidated by a simple scripting language, and some parameter errors and exceptions! Not enough to affect much of what I did, or how I approached it, but it was something that gave me some pause, and affected my emotional balance. I was shifted towards cautious. Silliness. Having to push and push physically really puts the value of mental toil in perspective.

But in some ways physical stress is much easier to approach and handle than mental stress. The solution is right there. You either stop, and fail, or keep moving your legs, and continue. You can set little goals for yourself, to the lamppost, to the street, to the next light, until my runnning partner stops. Mental stress doesn't have that simple interface.

You have to learn to trust in your personal strength and intelligence. To expect yourself to fill in the gaps as you go along. You can't look forward and see the operations you'll have to do. Building a realistic and accurate picture of your abilities, what they require, and how that affects the task.

It is vaguely like physical toil, in that you must know what you can do, what it takes, and that you can trust your body to fulfill what you ask of it.

In all things, self awareness.

A bit of arrogance and self confidence doesn't hurt either. I Can do this. It helps to have a partner in crime to push you along. You Will do this.

I am reminded of Carrie. (I know I know, but we lived together for two years, I'm allowed to be reminded of her occasionally) We constantly were talking about excercising together, or setting up a time to work out and things like that. We never did it. It was really a missed opportunity. It would have been nice to do things like that together.

I really went physically downhill in those two years, looking back. I was in decent shape in 2000, when we met, and I'm just now getting back into something like physical fitness. That probably was unpleasant for her. Well, I don't think actual obesity or such things is ever really in the cards for me, but I did lead a very sedentary life towards the end, and I probably was much less attractive. An unpleasant thought.

Strange thoughts to come of running. You could probably stand to go run for thirty minutes. Perhaps it will allow you to ruminate upon diverse subjects afterwards as well. It certainly makes breakfast afterwards pleasant.